The past couple of days have been hard. I don't know if it's the holiday that is coming and being around family and Adyson not being here or what. It's been hard going to sleep and waking up. Out of no where I will just have a meltdown. Sometimes I just sit and think, 'I lost my daughter. I had a human being for 4 months and now she is gone.' I sang to her. I talked to her. I held her. I fed her. I changed her diapers. I bathed her. I clothed her. I rocked her. I put her to sleep. I did all these things and more. Some days it's just a bad dream. Some days it sinks in. One day I think, 'Wow I am doing really good for just loosing my child, then BAM!! It hits me like a ton of bricks. When I have hard days like these, I also have nightmares. Which are so surreal. It soothes my soul knowing I will get to be with my daughter again for eternity. I know she is in Heaven saving me, Dan & Konner a very special place. Happy Easter sweet girl!!
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