Child of God

I am a child of God and He has called me home.
My earthly journey's through but still, I do not walk alone.
He leads me, guides me, walks beside me, helps me find the way.
He welcomed me with open arms. I live with Him today.

I am a child of God and I have gone ahead.
My earthly life was brief but oh, such peace and love you gave.
You loved me, held me, stood beside me and though I cannot stay
You gave me much to help me and I live with Him today.

I am a child of God and I will wait for you.
Celestial glory shall be ours, if you can but endure.
I'll lead you, guide you, walk beside you.
Help you find the way.
I'll welcome you with open arms
One bright Celestial day.

--Donna Kulliard


I wish I could teach Adyson everything in life, but what greater way to learn then from the Creator Himself!! Such a great feeling knowing that my daughter will be showing me Heaven. The pearly gates and streets of gold!! What a glorious reunion that will be. I can only imagine her face and her smile that lights up the world when she runs to her Mommy 'with open arms' to welcome me.  That precious touch that I miss oh so much will be breathtaking when I hold her in my arms for eternity.

Video

I have wanted to post these video's but we have been so busy with beach days, bible study, birthday party shopping, and baseball that I haven't had the time.








One night before bed, he went into Adyson's room and turned on her mobile and said, "I turned it on so she will know." He just stood there in the doorway to her room and stared at it and smiled. Such a priceless moment. The next day I caught him in there again playing with it.

Peace

I don't even know where to begin to describe the weekend I have had. As some of you know, I went to the E-Women's Retreat in Pensacola, Florida.  With me, was a lady who is 5 months pregnant, another who has had multiple miscarriages, and me who has lost a child. This weekend was about embracing powerful peace that you can only get from the Lord.  When we walked in Friday night, it was all I could do not to cry. Just to be there in the civic center full of women, all there for the same reason to praise and worship God, was breathtaking. You could feel the prescence of the Lord. That is the best feeling!! The speakers were Angela Thomas, Lysa Terkeurst, Karen Kingsbury, Sheri Rose Shepherd and Chonda Pierce. As they each spoke, I felt they were speaking directly to me.  I know God used them to speak to me.  Whether you have lost a loved one, having marital problems, problems with children, we all want that sweet peace that only comes from God above.  They shared their testimonies and I cried because I could relate to their hurt. Some have even turned away from God, saying, "If you love me, why did you let this happen to me?" If they can overcome the lost of a sibling, an abortion, drugs and alcohol, divorce, depression and so much more, then I can overcome my hurt. And I will!! There was one common verse among a few of the speakers and it is Jeremiah 29:11 (it's at the top of my blog) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

There were two things that really stuck out to me. One was a book called Let Me Hold You Longer by Karen Kingsbury, about parents not only savoring the "firsts" (words, steps), but the "lasts" as well. Children grow up so fast and we miss out on alot. The other is a song that Mandisa sang called You Wouldn't Cry. She explains that she wrote this song from the people in Heaven to us on Earth. Oh my gosh!! You have to listen!


Hearing those words, I burst into tears. Ady knows what it's like at home and that is the best place to be!!

I bought Konner a book called, His Mighty Warrior by Sheri Rose Shepherd, which talks about being a courageous man of honor when he becomes a man. It's a 'two-way conversation between that King and his warrior-child.' Teaching what it really means to grown up brave, true and strong.

Although we three had all different situations going on in our lives, we still all go to the One who can give us that sweet, precious peace that passes all understanding.

What a wonderful, blessed weekend I had with some special people in my life. Thank You!!

Sneaky boy

Let me tell you all what my son, Konner, did today.  I told him he could play his DS while I did my exercise. My exercise ended and he turned it off and I put it on the bar. He went to do whatever while I made me something to drink and a little snack. I was standing in the kitchen and I didn't see him in the living room so I called his name and he said, ''Ma'am?."  He was behind the couch.  Well I didn't think anything of it and continued to eat my snack.  A few minutes later I called his name again, this time I went looking for him.  What could he be doing behind the couch? That sneaky kid was behind the couch playing his DS!! Of course I started giggling and immediatedly took the DS away.  I gotta hand it to the kid.. that was smart.

To my daughter

My sweet daughter, Adyson. How you are still touching lives in amazing. You not only live in myself, Dad and big brother Konner, but in so many others. You have a lasting legacy that will forever be in me. Your big brother is only 4 and I see that you live in him and your presence is known. The other night, before his bedtime, he went in your room, turned on your mobile that you LOVE so much and said he turned it on so 'you would know.' Man oh man!! He stared at it and smiled. Such a moment he had. I have had a rough week or so. Not having you in my arms stinks. I wish I was there with you, but God still has plans for me here on Earth. I don't understand why things happen, but one day I will know just like you do now. There is not one day, one hour, one minute that I do not think about you. I look at pictures of you (good times and bad) and think, 'She has no more pain. She is the lucky one.' You have blessed me, inspire me, touched me, changed me and brought me closer to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. I want to live my life to bring Him all the glory. I hope in my lifetime I can touch just many people as you have. There will always be a piece of my heart missing. Although you were only here a short 4 months, you were and are a HUGE part of my life and will always be. Though I may shed an abundance of tears through my lifetime, I know God has a reason for everything. I may look 'fine' on the outside, but on the inside my heart is still breaking.

I love you and miss you so, so, so much sweet girl.

Mom

Easter

We had a busy weekend. Saturday morning we had family pictures taken at the beach in Pascagoula. After that, we had a Easter party at a friends house. We came home and played with Miranda and Kinsley, took a late nap, woke up around 5 and went to Dan's parents for their annual crawfish boil. Sunday morning we went to the 8 o'clock service. When we got home from church I started baking and getting things ready for the bunny cupcakes we made. Around lunch time we headed over to my aunt's house to have Easter with my family. We got home and we took another late nap, well Dan and Konner did. Sunday night I was going to put Konner to bed and he went to Adyson's room and turned on her mobile and said, "I am turning it on so she will know." He stood outside her door and stared as it went around and around, the whole time having a huge smile on his face. She lives in him. He is an awesome big brother and that touched my heart and moved me. I didn't get a photo because I was in such awe. It was one of those moments you didn't want to move, just take in the moment, but today he went back into her room and turned it on again and I snapped a picture. He loves and misses his baby sister!!

Free picture slideshow made with Smilebox

He paid it ALL!!

THE LAMB OF GOD

He was nailed to the cross. He shed His blood for our sins, so we could live an everlasting life and be saved. He was crucified for you and for me. He was crushed for our iniquities. That punishment brought us peace and by his wounds we are healed.

With all the candy giving (will be thrown away at our house), and eggs and bunnies, let's not forget the real reason for Easter. Jesus paid it ALL! There is nothing sweeter than that. We are undeserving of this.

We live and die, Christ died and lived. What more does He have to do in order to prove His love?

Hope you all have a happy and safe Easter weekend!

Save A Place For Me

The past couple of days have been hard. I don't know if it's the holiday that is coming and being around family and Adyson not being here or what. It's been hard going to sleep and waking up. Out of no where I will just have a meltdown. Sometimes I just sit and think, 'I lost my daughter. I had a human being for 4 months and now she is gone.' I sang to her. I talked to her. I held her. I fed her. I changed her diapers. I bathed her. I clothed her. I rocked her. I put her to sleep. I did all these things and more. Some days it's just a bad dream. Some days it sinks in. One day I think, 'Wow I am doing really good for just loosing my child, then BAM!! It hits me like a ton of bricks. When I have hard days like these, I also have nightmares. Which are so surreal. It soothes my soul knowing I will get to be with my daughter again for eternity. I know she is in Heaven saving me, Dan & Konner a very special place. Happy Easter sweet girl!!